Facetime Vs Facebook

Social media sites, chat online sites, in general have taken the world by storm and have been a wonderful addition to our life and lifestyle. I appreciate the possibility to stay in touch and share the news, pictures, videos and to have a less expensive alternative to communicate more freely and regularly with friends, relatives, long distance lovers, etc. But, with every new invention there are some definite set backs through overuse by spending too much time or having a false balance in your lifestyle. It can cause irreparable damage, So Beware! 


   While it is a great tool that we can use to keep in touch with our distant loved ones, make new friends, share ideas, it could be the very thing that is robbing of us of one of the most important things that we have and also most valuable to those around us- OUR TIME


  I have personally witnessed many a stories of how social media has been the cause of break-ups of couples and families due to it coming between the people involved. People have lost presence in the real world due to their over-presence in the virtual world. Some also try to find their soul-mates online leaving behind their prior commitments.
  
  Then. there is also a debate over putting most of your personal stuff on social world. Life is too short to allow your relations to downgrade for a cause like this. Any addiction is a PRISON. I once heard a story of the prison Inmate who passed a way after spending the better part of his life behind the bars that when they went into his cell to collect the few items left behind, there on the wall written hundreds of times were some of the saddest words in the English language, "If only I had, If only I had, If only I had".


  Use your time wisely. Use these wonderful new and great tools of technology, just don't allow them to use you, lest you too may be heard saying, "I only I had............"
  

Text Fights.. Suck .. Big Time !!

Its a mobile and facebook World. Less we talk and more we chat !!

Texts start off fine: “Hi babe! I just woke up. Love you!”

You start exchanging chitchats for a bit, and then for whatever reason, something someone says triggers the fight.. “You went WHERE, WITH WHOM??”

…and then it begins.

Since the era of text messaging began, I have been in one too many text fights – either with my then-boyfriend, my mom, my brother, my best friend, the list is endless. One good thing about text fights is that you can stop and think about what you are about to say to the other person without having the pressure of them impatiently waiting for you to answer back. But, even though I sometimes engage myself into one, I do understand how they’re wrong and not helpful for the fight:

1. It’s more hurtful than intended. There are just some people who are bad in putting their words together on paper (or text). When we email, text or write to someone, we tend to exaggerate things – as compared when we were talking in person wherein we try to be nice as we watch the other person’s reaction. But since in texting we don’t see them, we might not realize how much our statement hurt them.

2. Too much hassle. Since we bring our phone with us ALL the time, text fights can be a real pain in the ass. I remember having to work and get all distracted because I keep glancing at my phone for new messages. That’s why I seriously support companies who forbid their cellphones at work. Replying during a text fight just consumes 5 minutes of your productivity each and every time.

3. Miscommunication. Let’s face it. Sometimes someone says something and we can’t figure out what the hell they meant by that. Is he angry? Was that sarcasm? Without hearing the tone of voice and seeing their body language, it’s so much easier to misconstrue what the other person is trying to say.

4. No take-backs. When fighting, we sometimes get caught up in the moment and say things we don’t mean. When you are fighting in person, those harsh words are sometimes forgotten in the frenzy of all that’s said. But in text fights, you or the other person can go back to the previous messages on the phone and be reminded of all the messed up things you guys said to one another. And you may end up fighting all over again.

5. It’s plain & blunt useless. After a long exchange of harsh words to each other, one usually just ends up calling the other person or going to the person to fight face to face. What happened to working out our issues in person?? Have we really become that impersonal to hide behind our phones in cases of conflict? It’s just too emotionless.

Grrr. I hate it so Much !!

Is it a Crush or Just Fraaannddshiippp ?

"I LOVE YOU"
Its a sentence we all have probably used one time or another. This is an elaborated version of *two best Friends* Remember only "BEST FRIENDS"   :

He's your good friend. She's your best confidant. You have known each other's from years and have discussed even the silliest of topics. You have confided to each other about your latest love interest and turned to one another for support when the relationship(s) failed. You can't imagine life without your good friend.

But for a while....

You've felt jealous of his dates. You've been overprotective of her since she has been seeing the jerk. You've been having  very strong feelings of attraction and a desire for something more than friendship. Could it be that your feelings for him/her have grown into something more? If so, your relationship may have developed into a "friend crush".. 

You don't know what to do. You know you want to continue spending time together- more time. But it's getting hard. You fantasize about having more with this person and are beginning to feel like a jealous would-be partner. Do you pretend everything is the same? Do you start distancing yourself- hoping your feelings will go back to the way they were? Do you actually TALK directly and honestly with your friend about how you feel?

What will happen to the relationship if you make the WRONG choice?

Just as all people are unique, so are the characteristics of their relationships with others. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this increasingly common dilemma. So, let's take a look at your options. You can:

* ignore your feelings, keep your boundaries in check and pretend everything is Normal.

In order to choose this option, you must be able to deny your feelings so well that even you don't know what they are. You will also have to continue being comfortable on the sidelines while someone else has the relationship with this person that you desire. You will most likely be asked what you think of this or that person and be expected to be happy and supportive of your friend when they meet the right someone for them. In return for all this, you will still have your friend.

* begin to spend less time with your friend (crush) while seeking out new friendships to pursue and strengthen

This option will most likely cause confusion and hurt on the part of your friend who will wonder what happened. They may be understanding and accepting of your need to spread your wings and support you in doing what you need to do. Either way, you will see less of them and your relationship can weaken and perhaps disappear altogether as they move on with new people. If you can distance yourself for a while and no longer feel the romantic butterflies, you can always give them a call and may be able to pick up somewhere near where you left off.

* continue the relationship with your own hidden agendas - a desire for romantic intimacy and the hope that the person will realize that they feel the same way

If they become involved with someone else in the meantime, you can work to sabotage their new relationship or you can leave them wondering where all your anger and hurt feelings are coming from. You can spend a lot of time and energy handling it this way, without anything to show for your efforts but the loss of a good friend.

* have an open and honest discussion with your friend regarding your new feelings for them

This is the choice that seems to be the hardest for folks to make. Often what I hear from people in this position is that they fear "ruining the friendship" if they discuss their feelings honestly. While this is a very understandable concern, it isn't well thought out. It is emotional, not rational. Look again at the other options. Every one will bring about a change in your current friendship.

Why?

Once your feelings have changed, so does the relationship. Ignoring them, hiding them or distancing yourself will lessen your closeness and the positive dynamics that flow between good friends. You can't go back. You need to decide how you want to move forward or if this is an option for you. . It is also possible in choosing this option that you will learn that they have similar feelings for you that they were afraid to reveal. Therefore choosing this option could result in romance and a love relationship based on true friendship.

Intimacy exists in all close relationships. It is the ability to be completely open and vulnerable to another without fear of harm or rejection. So, by definition, we cannot be intimate with another while hiding or denying our true feelings and needs to them.

The choice will always be yours. Choosing wisely is about really knowing the options, the consequences they bring and what will be best for you and your friend.